This blog is being written from the airplane, en route between Johannesburg, South Africa and our brief stopover in Dakar, Senegal.
Today was a day of goodbyes, to our program leader Jackie James, to Graham Todd who was the leader of the South African team that was our counterpart that we visited in Arizona, to Gavin Schachat who was my first host in South Africa, to our team leader Randy Brooks (glad you found what you were looking for today, by the way!!!) and others whose names I simply can’t remember this late at night. It was also a much-anticipated time to really begin to reflect on all that we have seen, smelled, felt, tasted, heard, enjoyed, hated, learned. And oh, boy, that is quite a lot in the past month.
As our trip has neared the end, many of the Rotarians and people have asked what our favorite part of the trip has been. Of course, everyone wants to hear that it is their club, their project, their natural wonder, their museum, their meal and the like. Those things are just the backdrop. My favorite thing about this trip cannot possibly be a single place or event. My favorites cannot be placed in order nor all be even completely remembered, but the favorites were the people and the special personal qualities that each of them showed to us that is a reflection of their own experiences, passions, culture, faith – and how all of these combined into our experience over this past month.
To Jackie, who was a GSE team member and leader, for setting up such a wonderful program for us, and for understanding our elation, and frustration, at all the situations that GSE teams find themselves.
To Gavin, for staying up late at night as well as in our travels around the Cape vicinity, to chat with me about anything and everything. I have an amazing respect for your kindness, patience, trustworthiness, diplomacy and strong work ethic and hope that I can even begin to emulate this in my life.
To the Walwyns, who were my “mom and dad” in Newlands. I’m sure it is interesting to have a stranger in your home who is basically the same age as your children, trying not to be too parenting yet still help and encourage during this experience, while also maintaining your work and other activities. Oh, and for your wonderful sense of humor that matches mine regarding the howling cats that serenaded us two nights in a row at the most inopportune time… who needs sleep, anyway!
To Peter, my host in Gordon’s Bay, whose enormous smile, generosity, enthusiasm and kindness I will never forget.
To Arne, for talking politics, environment, social issues, life, relationships, this trip and just about whatever came to mind for – and for being brave enough to speak about all of these things in English instead of German and somehow always getting your point across even if you couldn’t find the right word.
To Jaco Coetzee, his wonderful wife, and beautiful children for sharing their home, animals and good old home cooking with me. For also having the compassion to care for a baby gray “bok bok” that was brought to you rescued from being dinner for another animal, and knowing full well that he will probably be heading to a game farm, hoping he will survive in the semi-wild for awhile and being pragmatic enough to know full well that he may also be in a hunter’s sights soon enough. It is a wonderful example that you give to care about others and do the best you can for those in need even if you are not sure that your help will change the eventual fate. Just caring and helping makes a difference now, for that one… and that’s all you can do.
To the Rowans, for sharing your beautiful home, town, work ethic and perspectives with me – I wish I had a couple more days to spend with you, and also appreciate your support through the difficult family situation that I had to deal with from afar. You and several others in George were very kind in continuing to check with me to ensure that all was well at home (and it seems to be OK now!).
To Biffy, who was so kind to us – again, and again, and again! Thank you for helping us on our fun tours, kidnapping us for a braai, and for making us honorary Newlands members with our goofy costumes (go, team dominoes!)
To the Van Niekerks, whom we did not have the opportunity to thank properly because of the mixed-up conference scheduling, for their hospitality, for making so many outstanding arrangements for our team, and for good food, spirits and surrounding themselves with great friends and club members!
To Uncle Randalo. thank you for choosing us, for training us, for leaving us to our own devices and trusting us, for your model of generosity, for your weird faces and voices, for your help in ways that we know, and others that we don’t know yet. Our team has so many inside jokes after being together for a month, some are just facial expressions or gestures that only we’ll understand. Sometimes you were the running joke, but it was all good fun and you seemed to embrace it rather than fight it!
To my team members. What a fun, and varied, crew! I was the lone guy out, and you didn’t go too girly around me. All I can say is, do you have any biltong left, maybe a Savanna Dry? I think Barb and I owe Sarah a half-dozen meals since we ate all her food. I’ll be in the little voortrekker’s room. Do NOT go in there afterwards… your eyebrows might go wild. Watch out!!!!!! (clunk)
I know that I am forgetting many of our day hosts, many who I met at the club meetings, vocational days, tour days, and social events. I think it takes me an average of 3 or 4 times meeting a person to finally remember their name; but I know your faces and remember how welcome you made us feel.
I already miss some of the precious young faces that we met twice in Khayelitscha. This was a major perspective for me, that a tiny preschool with more than 70 can survive and thrive, with dirt floors, no insulation, very little shade and probably not a whole lot more money each month than we pay at home for care for our son. I don’t even know their names and can only begin to imagine the stories their young eyes have seen unfold in daily life, but they and those who care for them are my inspiration for wanting to do something to help in South Africa. In spite of their surroundings they still have much more than a glimmer of trust, hope, enthusiasm, and goodwill. I wish that everyone could meet these sweet kids.
This may not be appropriate or follow protocol, but I am disappointed that some who know they are here and could easily be brought right to their doorstep choose not to take that opportunity. As with many of the “bad parts of town” anywhere, there are problems. But my hope is that others will take the challenge to step outside the sphere of comfort that you enjoy, and get to know people that are not like you, to help them, to learn from them. I can only begin to understand why someone wouldn’t be willing to at least try visiting this preschool (or the probably thousands like it). Is there a fear that it will change your perspective, or force you to re-examineyour own habits and beliefs? It certainly did for us as a team, but I don’t think that a new perspective, or expanded perspective, can be a bad thing at all. There is nothing to be afraid of. They’re preschoolers. And my gosh, they are so cute.
I’ve decided that I hate saying goodbye. There’s a phrase that Sole, my host mom in Spain, told me when I was leaving after living with her family for several months– “hasta la próxima” – translated roughly as “until next time”, which is certainly a wonderful sendoff, but the unspoken and fully understood meaning behind that is with a mix of love, hope, anticipation, and perhaps even just a little bit of sadness or even fear that at some point there may not be a next time.
So, for everyone I have met on this trip, and to the country of South Africa - hasta la próxima… whether this is at your home, mine, or just in our memories. Thank you. It was a pleasure…
Comments
Jenny Carrillo
Thu, 14 May 2009 08:15:36
Oh Beej! You have me in tears! (no surprise, right?) You have so eloquently written what I have not yet been able to express, or even begin to process. It was an AMAZING trip, huh? And honestly, I couldn't imagine four other people that I would have rather shared this with. Thank you for enriching this whole experience. I'll love you forever for it.
What a tremendous experience, BJ! Thanks for taking the time to write about what must have been a thoroughly exhausting adventure. Your words are truly inspirational to those, like myself, who have yet to venture outside the confines of our lucky existence. We do take so much for granted.
Tucson is so fortunate (even more so today!) to have someone like you in a position designed to motivate citizens to make our tiny & very fragile spot on earth the best that it can be!
Heidi Cordova
Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:11:50
I just came across your blog again and read this last posting for the first time. Wow, like Jenny, I need a box of tissues. Such a great way to sum up your trip. I am so proud of you!! (Hanna - Thank you for your sacrifice. I can see BJ has grown as a better son, brother, husband and father by taking this trip.)
I work for Tucson Clean & Beautiful, a non-profit environmental education organization. I am married and have a 3 year old son. I was born and raised in Arizona.
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